Sunday, November 4, 2007

Sometimes the doctor orders a good cry...

Around week 2, the director of our program said that around week 5 and 6 people start having melt downs. Week 5 passed, I was cool. Week 6 passed, still nothing. I should have known that my stubbornness would delay my breakdown to week 10. It is Sunday night before my "hell" week and instead of doing more much needed studying, I am going to go into the office turn off the lights and proceed to cry. I feel as though I don't have a grasp on anything right now. I am not adding any help financially to the house and at this time of year (holiday purchases, holiday travel) this is not good. Are we hurting no, but am I tired of my husband making references to th e fact that I could/should have kept my old job for another year (not that there aren't times when I don't miss getting waxed and getting my hair done every other week), YES. So, he's grumpy, I'm grumpy; I just wish I could fix it. Is it possible to have a sparkling clean house, fit back into my size 6 jeans (w/o loss of circulation to my brain), look half-way fashionable, cook for my husband, fit in sex, get good grades, and not be addicted to some sort of performance enhancing drug? I didn't think so. That cool, now if you will excuse me, I am going to pretend its my party and choose to cry because I want to...You would cry too if grad school happened to you!

P.S. I did pass all my check off's.

2 comments:

Masked RN said...

I, too, had a mid-semester melt-down last week.

I suppose it is natural... We all have our breaking points... But, it is in picking ourselves up after our meld-down and pressing forwards that defines our fortitude.

This is the strength we will pass onto the laboring mother's in need, someday. Soon.

Peace,
Myra

minority midwife said...

Girl, girl, girl I understand. Been there, done that, twice already this semester. Let it out. You can do it. It's hard, I know, but you CAN do it.