Break Is Too Long...

I honestly can't believe I am saying this, but I am ready to go back to school. I am actually tired of sleeping in and not doing anything. I pray for these opportunities during the semester...and now I'm like "Yeah, so I'm bored..." I have also managed to completely throw my sleep pattern out of whack which would explain why I am posting at 4:20 in the morning. I found out my rotation for next semester starts in Peds and I end in OB. I'm pretty excited about that, and I like my new clinical group (I think, lol).

On a more serious note, I was reading one of my favorite blogs Minority Midwifery Student and she always manages to make me think. I think of all the times I turn my head at blatant ignorance or all of the ways I convince myself that I am being too paranoid or sensitive. At times I ignore things because I am lazy. I don't want to take the time, energy or emotion to explain reality to people that I feel I can never get through to. Other times I ignore things because I am selfish. I don't want to constantly feel uncomfortable or isolated or in fact make other people feel that way. I am a firm believer in just because its easy doesn't mean its right. However, easy is easier than right. I feel stressed. And I know STRESS is real. Diseases related to stress are real. Racism that leads to stress that leads to diseases related to stress are real. No matter how far people think we have come it is just some sort of pacifying thought to let them be able to sleep at night knowing their ancestors raped and enslaved my ancestors. But that was a long time ago right? No it was not. The Tuskeegee experiments didn't end until the 1970s. I did not know this until this year and it hit so close to home I cried. They could have experimented on my daddy, or my granddaddy...how can I not feel that stress. More importantly, why is it so hard for them, those holding the white privilege, to feel this stress? Its like talking to a brick wall. A very tall, very wide, very expansive brick wall. Again I am tired and drained just thinking about it all.

I'm back and I'm alive...

Yeah so I kicked some nursing school butt this semester. Finals are over and I did rather fine if I do say so myself. Rumor has it that this was the hardest semester, so I am really excited for next semester. We start out in OB "YEA!!!" Enough about school though, I am sure I will have plenty to elaborate on next semester.

I get commissioned on Tuesday. Not sure what to expect but I am hoping for something small and quick, lol. I am just so excited to get my ID and all the military discounts, sad but true. I would really like to actually go and shadow an Air Force midwife, I just wonder how everything really works. Is there shift work, or how does on call work and what is it like having this career with children...you know blah, blah, blah. Anyhow, can you believe Christmas is less than 10 days away! I am trying to sneak and get Q something nice for Christmas. It snuck up so fast!!! Not much more to say so I'll talk to you later.

Wow its December...

This semester has flown...I only have 1.5 more weeks of school. I am really excited to do nothing let me say! I have done well this semester so there really is no stress over exams except that which I put on myself. With that said, lets talk about self pride. If you want to be a quality women's health provider, why would you skip out on a free conference (that by the way was part of our clinical hour requirements) specifically related to OB/GYN. No we are not MDs, nor are we planning to be, but we have to be aware of them and their practices in order to facilitate our patients in making the most informed decisions possible. Without sounding judgmental, I feel that some of my classmates' behavior was irresponsible and just plain lazy; if we had to be at the hospital, everyone would have shown up. I mean do you really want to be a good provider? It is imperative that we are on top of the most current practices so that we can offer or choose not to offer the same newest evidence based practices to our patients. Just to finish off my rant, I will be damned if I feel comfortable letting someone that doesn't study for exams or come to class or even remotely seem competent practice a pap smear on me. Its not going to happen, and if you ask, I will tell you that is why I don't want you poking around in my vagina. Damn that and have a nice day thank you very much!

So, I haven't even started Christmas shopping yet...I am clearly on a strict budget so looking for good deals is vital. I plan on doing quite a bit of sewing and getting my Martha Stewart on. I hope everyone likes their gift (if not at least pretend to, lol). I am trying to figure out something for my sister in laws ages 20 and 22 that doesn't cost a lot. Any ideas let me know. I am also trying to hunt down an old school Nintendo with Mario and Duck Hunt for the husband. He has really been great and supportive this semester so I want to surprise him again without breaking the bank. Anyhow, I will be able to write more since school will be out soon...take care everyone as your semesters are coming to an end...